My favorite book of 2020 (so far)

I. Was. Stressed.

What do you turn to when life feels overwhelming?

I’ve had plenty of seasons of life where I re-watched my favorite TV shows or comedy specials to help cope with stress. But something pretty great happened this year – I learned to love reading fiction again. Among other wonderful things, it’s become one way to escape my own life for a while and gain perspective for when I have to return to my own problems.

All that to say – today’s recommendation is to read Bel Canto by Ann Patchett at any time, but especially if you’re going through something stressful right now.

The book’s core plot is about insurrectionists taking over a party with the intent of capturing the country’s president; when he isn’t there because he couldn’t bear to miss an episode of his favorite soap opera that evening, they instead take hostage everyone else who was at the party. (If that sounds intriguing, maybe listen to the latest episode of my book podcast, “Reading Like an Adult,” which covers my month of reading literary fiction.)

I loved, loved living in the world of this book. While it starts with a dramatic premise, Bel Canto is ultimately a quiet, character-driven story about our need as humans to find purpose and vocation and a stable routine no matter what’s going on around us. It was the perfect book to pick up during a stressful time in my life of buying my first home (and a strange and challenging time for all of us) because it reminded me that people are resilient and we will find a sense of normal and keep fighting for the things we value even when all seems lost.

In this newsletter, I wanted to share ideas that helped me not to lose myself completely during a challenging time. I believe the way we approach tough life situations is crucial, and the words and concepts you hold close when you’re struggling matter. I hope these words help you.

1. Protect your creativity. Keep SOMETHING in your life that lets you connect with stories, beauty, art. I struggled to do any writing during the two weeks or so where I was closing on a house, moving, and generally worrying about basic needs like a refrigerator for food and a way to have clean clothes to wear, but I let myself jot down ideas and daydream whenever I could. I also had a plan in place for my reading life, so I was never stuck on the question of what I’d read next. I need books and stories to stay connected to my creativity.

2. Know your limits – when to test them and when to respect them. Driving is really hard for me, and when I thought about trying to buy my own home, huge blocks for me were 1) the idea of having to drive around to new places and 2) the thought of settling for a place that would mean more driving. So I limited my housing search to my own zip code, making sure I wouldn’t have to drive far or in unfamiliar territory to look at a new home in the short-term, and that if I did end up living there, I would be close to everything I need in the long-term. This approach won’t work for every single situation (and yes, I lucked into a housing market downturn that let me buy in my area), but sometimes when you want to make a huge change in your life, it helps to stay in a structure you’re comfortable with to give you a starting point.

3. Find the incentives that work for you, no matter how silly or small they seem. As Tina Fey once wisely said, “The only reward for anything is food.” 

4. Give yourself time to recover from stress, both mentally and physically. It’s hard to daydream and plan when your mental space is crowded with stressful to-do lists, and it’s borderline impossible to create when you’re physically rundown. If you push yourself too hard too soon, it could take even longer for you to be ready to return to your creative work.