What happened when I stopped watching TV

I never thought I’d say this, but …

I haven’t been watching enough TV.

Let me explain that statement. I don’t mean that I’m “behind” on the popular shows. I’ve accepted that 1) I’ll always be behind because there are too many things to watch and 2) I like being choosy, which means I’ll only watch what fits my specific, subjective and admittedly capricious taste in TV shows. When I say “not enough TV,” I mean that for several weeks I didn’t make time for TV at all, not realizing that cutting it out would be detrimental for my creative energy.

I’ve never thought about what a TV deficiency would look like for my creativity before; in fact, I’ve worked in the last couple of years to cut back on how much TV I watch because I realized it was something I did mindlessly, creating too much brain clutter and hampering my writing life. But I’ve been in a busy, special, new season of life in the past couple of months where – by choice – I dropped TV-watching as an activity because I simply didn’t have time for it.

And while I didn’t stop writing altogether without TV in my life, I found myself fighting to think of ideas for this newsletter and feeling drained as I approached other projects. My ideas well seemed to be running dry, and that terrified me. I found myself thinking, “I’m going to stop writing if I don’t start watching TV again,” a statement that sounds ridiculous on its face but stopped me in my tracks.

This is the first time in about two years where I’ve been afraid I’ll run out of writing ideas, when I’ve found myself scraping the bottom of the creative well. I think fear that you won’t execute the Great Idea in your head properly is always present in the creative process to some extent, but being afraid that I would stop having ideas at all was a new anxiety that only put that much more pressure on my creativity.

I’m always reading, no matter what else is going on in my life, and that’s one way I can take in fresh stories and ideas to fuel my creative energy and give me new things to write about, but even I can’t live by books alone. The TV break made me realize more than ever that I have to be taking in new stories, and streaming a new show, whether it’s The Queen’s Gambit (which I’m currently appreciating) or Dash & Lily (next in my Netflix queue), is not only an important way to find new stories but it’s also … not optional for me. I realized when I felt a surge of creative energy watching the ridiculous glossy show that everyone either hates to love or loves to hate that I need both the stories and the mental break that TV offers. That quiet of focusing on a story someone else is telling is key for me.

The creative process is mysterious and in so many ways, beyond our control, which is why I work to pinpoint the concrete things we can do to fuel our creativity and make sure it’s part of our everyday lives. You can’t force ideas to come, but you can show up to the page and let creativity know you’re ready whenever it wants to dictate. You can’t know in advance what the ideas cocktail you’re currently sipping will stir in you, but you can make sure you’re taking in stories you find inspiring.

For anyone who would like an absurdly decadent mental break from *gestures at everything*:

Yes, dear reader, I am going to talk about the ridiculous glossy show that everyone either hates to love or loves to hate. I’m not sure how Emily in Paris (a Netflix original from creator Darren Star) happened, but we learn to question so few things in 2020. A sanitized Sex and the City meets seasons 6 and 7 of Gilmore Girls, this 10-episode first season doesn’t really go anywhere or say anything, but it’s too much fun not to watch.

Emily (Lily Collins) is an American in Paris for one year, working at a French marketing agency “to give the American perspective” on social media after her marketing director boss can’t go last-minute. She stops seeing Paris through rose-colored glasses quickly when her Chicago boyfriend breaks up with her because he won’t do long-distance and her co-workers at the marketing agency start addressing her as la plouc (“the hick”), but plucky Emily is determined to make the most of her Paris experience with croissants, plenty of wine, dreamy French men, and the occasional viral social media post.

The premise is a stretch, the jokes are on the nose, and how did Emily afford that wardrobe? Who cares; bring on season 2. For fans of Gossip Girl and Sex and the City.

For anyone who needs a book that’s both an escape and a defiantly joyous depiction of the human experience:

The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue is the book that prolific author V.E. Schwab (probably best known for her Shades of Magic trilogy) spent about a decade thinking about and then finally writing after years of living with this vibrant character in her head. Addie was one of the 2020 new releases I was most excited to get my hands on, and now that it’s here, I can confirm that it’s a story you’ll want to read as fast as you can and savor at the same time.

What would you trade to live forever? To escape a desperate fate, Addie makes a deal with the devil and is gifted/cursed with an eternal youth where no one remembers her. This book spans 300 years of Addie’s existence, yet it’s a quiet and intimate non-linear telling, offering scenes from Addie’s centuries-long fight to bend the edges of the curse and be remembered like shifting images in a kaleidoscope. The fantastical elements may be the hook, but Addie is ultimately a story about human resilience, our capacity to hope, to endure, to live with defiant joy. For fans of Erin Morgenstern and Alix E. Harrow.