When to defy the to-do list

My love of lists in notebooks has evolved over the years.

The right to-do list can change your life.

I know this because I’ve lived it. Like most millennials trying to make their way in a tough economy, I’ve had to evolve, and every single time, I started my next reinvention with a list. I’ve changed my life many times, moving across the country more than once, shaking off old jobs and careers that didn’t fit anymore, starting over in new cities whenever I needed to.

Big changes like that are hard, every single time. When you’re sitting at a desk in a bad job trying to get up the courage to move (back) to the other side of the country, it feels impossible. You may as well be trying to reinvent the whole world; and in a way, aren’t you? Each time, the impossible became possible when I started writing down ideas in a notebook, sorting through the steps that I needed to take to pick up my entire life and move it to the next place.

But here’s something I’m learning as I get older: You can’t let the list define you. Lists can and should evolve. Sometimes you want to change your life without completely upending it and moving to a new city, and in a way, that kind of change can be even harder because it’s so subtle. It’s OK to make that list even if all the bullet points are fuzzy. It’s OK to write down all of the steps you would take to make an enormous change and then step back and decide it’s not the right time yet.

Some things you wish you could put down on a list and check off are out of your control. Some things don't need to be done at all, and maybe writing them down will help you realize that. Some things will happen in their own time.

I’m realizing that goals aren’t static, and I’m learning to catch myself when I feel trapped by my own lists. They’re going to evolve as you do. Maybe you reach a goal that has been on the list for years, only to realize that it’s the first milestone in a much longer journey. Maybe you outgrow something you wanted, or your vision of what it will look like changes.

As much as I know that lists can bring about enormous changes, I’m also learning that there's nothing wrong with writing out a whole list and deciding you don't need to do any of it. With everything out of your brain and down on the page, you can look at it all and decide what's important and what you should do next. I’m never going to stop scribbling lists in notebooks, but whenever I start to feel trapped by my own boxes to check off, I remind myself that I’m always in charge of the list, not the other way around.

For children’s book fans and/or anyone fascinated by the creative process and how it plays out in book publishing:

Confession time: It’s hard for me to find podcasts about writing that I enjoy. Writers just sound so stressed, all the time. But I’ve discovered a side door into the book world that gives me great ideas for my reading lists and fun creative inspiration: podcasts hosted by literary agents. Literaticast, a podcast from literary agent Jennifer Laughran, has the right balance of concise, informative Q&A about the book world with her guests and fun tangents into what inspires the creative process as they talk about their work in picture books, middle-grade and YA publishing.

For anyone else whose “career path” has been unconventional:  

You’re not alone, and author David Epstein has a whole book of fascinating case studies to prove it in Range: Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World. Epstein’s (researched and supported) theory that plenty of people don’t find their destined path in life at a young age and yet still go on to be successful after trying lots of different things speaks to my millennial heart. My generation is statistically unlikely to be working at a job related to their college major, and yes, we go through a lot of workplaces trying to find the right thing. Epstein’s premise counters the Malcolm Gladwell 10,000 hours concept, theorizing that yes, some people in some environments excel because they started at a young age, but in many cases, experimentation and variety lead to a wider range of skills. If everyone is hyper-specialized, you end up with a lot of people who can’t see the forest for the trees, and as our world expands, we need more people with a wide breadth of experiences who can make connections across industries and skillsets.